Something on Your Mind?
by The Josie In The Rye
Summary: When Lance is troubled and confused by girls, boys and himself, he goes to Shiro who offers him some kind words. A Lance coming out story. Rated T for some few bad words.


**Just writing practice. Not my best work, not my worst. I felt like writing it so I did.**

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Shiro was alone on the bridge when Lance showed up. It had been a quiet few days. Or, quiet compared to what they were used to. It was good for the team to get some down time. Catch up on each other and themselves. You never knew how long a period of peace like this would last.

Catching up on himself was not good for Lance though. Reflecting life. And things. Especially the last couple of weeks. Months. He had tried to ignore it, or pass it as nothing, but the goddamn thoughts just wouldn't go away. It had ended up being an obsession for him, and he was never left in peace. Lance knew he had to talk to someone about it eventually, and Shiro was kind of the obvious choice. But boy, how he didn't want to.

"Uh, Shiro?" he asked timidly, shifting his wait from foot to foot.

The older Paladin turned from his screen to face him. "Lance? Something on your mind?"

Lance shrugged, trying to seem casual. God, he was sweaty. "I wondered if we could… talk." _Please don't say yes._ "But if you're too busy…" _Please be too busy._

The boy was already halfway out the door again when Shiro stopped him. "Sure, we can talk. What's on your mind?" He sat down on the small platform in the centre of the room, just beneath the crystal. He gestured for Lance to join him.

But Lance couldn't sit down. He had promised himself that he would get this off his chest, but it wasn't easy. It felt like telling Shiro meant telling the whole world. Admitting to it. And maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was just being weird, maybe it was Space. And then he would have told Shiro (and the world!) and he would feel like a complete idiot. He didn't even notice how he had started pacing the floor.

"I've noticed something," he said, suddenly, as if to sneak up on himself. He was almost yelling.

Shiro open his palms to him in a very business-like manner. "What have you noticed?" His voice carried all the calm Lance's lacked.

Lance's pacing increased. He flayed wildly with his arms. "It's something about me. Or, no, about others. People. Certain people. Or maybe it is me, but, like, I haven't changed, at least I don't think so. And, also, I shouldn't have changed, should I? I mean, was I like this all the time? Or maybe, maybe I'm just overthinking..."

This went on for quiet a while. Finally, Shiro felt he had to cut in. "Lance." He spoke clearly and with a slight force to make sure he was heard. "What it is?"

"Boys are pretty, okay?" Lance turned sharply towards the young man. Now, he was yelling. "I'm trying to tell you that I've noticed that boys are pretty!"

It pulled in Shiro's lips and he gave the young Paladin a sideway smile. _So that is what this is about._ "You know, so I've noticed myself."

Lance's arms fell to his side. "I know." He whole being seemed exhausted. For months he had been turning this simply thought _"boys are pretty"_ over and over in his mind, and every time had he chosen to put it away again. He hadn't expected it but saying it out loud was like that first breath of air after a long dive. "That's why I wanted to talk to you about it."

Once again Shiro motioned for his friend to sit down. Lance finally sat, resting his elbows in his knees.

"I haven't told the others," he started, then quickly added: "Please don't tell them."

Shiro held up his palm as reassurance. "Of course not. But can I ask why?"

"Because I'm not sure."

"That boys are pretty?"

"That _I_ think boys are pretty." Lance lowered his head, his brown eyes fixed on his hands. "It feels like every story I've ever heard, people just knew. Like, from the get-go. They always knew, deep down inside that they were different because they liked the same gender or would only play with dolls when they were 'supposed' to play with trucks. And I feel like this thing just jumped me out of nowhere." He carried an offended tone. "Like 'Hello, I'm the little gay elf who's been hiding inside you all this time'."

Shiro sniggered at the analogy. "Little gay elf?"

Lance shrugged. "I know I like girls. I've always liked girls, girls are fucking gorgeous." He shrugged again. "It never seemed like boys were an option, but then suddenly, it was like I noticed them in a whole new way a few months back. Be honest with me," he straightened up and faced Shiro. "Did you know?"

Running his hand through the tip of white hair just above his forehead, Shiro wished he could tell the boy what he wanted to hear. He seemed so desperate for someone to relate to. However, it wouldn't be fair to lie to him. "Yes, I knew," he acknowledged. "From around eleven or twelve maybe. Adam didn't though," he added before Lance's face fell apart completely.

"Who's Adam?" he inquired.

"Just an old friend of mine." Shiro didn't want to get into details. "An old gay friend, to clarify. It wasn't that he knew he didn't like girls, he just didn't give them any thought. Not boys either. Not until he was, well, I guess around your age, and he meet a guy. Before he knew it he was in love."

"Really?" Lance perked up. "He didn't know?"

Shiro smiled again. "Not a clue."

Lance relaxed, letting out a long breath. As if he was literally deflating some of his tension. _I'm not alone_ , he thought. He may not have known Adam, hadn't even heard of him till that minute, but he was _out there._ Someone was out there, just like him. Who didn't know until it just hit one day. _I'm not alone._ The lines in his face relaxed and revealed now only deep though – not fright.

"You know, you may just be bicurious."

Lance glanced up at Shiro who had interrupted his line of thought. "Bicurious?" he tasted the unfamiliar term on his tongue.

The Black Paladin leaned back, resting his weight on his shoulders. He gazed into the bright, blue crystal above. "It's a relative new word, but I think it's something a lot of young people, especially your age, go through today. It's when you don't necessarily feel comfortable being with someone not of your preferred gender..." he paused briefly for Lance to keep up, "but you're intrigued by the idea."

"YES!" Lance had sprung up on his feet, pointing a finger down at Shiro, aimed right at his white tip. "Yes! That is exactly what I mean! Oh my god, there's actually a word for it, I can't believe there's a word for it!" Why the hell hadn't he known there was a word for it?

Filled with a sense of connection and understanding (and an obvious relief), Lance briefly resembled someone else Shiro had once talked to about a likewise topic.

"You know, you remind me of another guy I talked to a couple of years ago," Shiro remarked before he could stop himself. "He, too, seemed very happy to know he wasn't alone."

The teenager paused his victory dance, looking like a question mark. "Who?"

Quickly, Shiro shook his head and waved frantically with his hands. "Not someone you know. Just a guy. Just a guy," he added once more.

Lance shrugged his shoulders, not really caring who Shiro was rambling about. He was too caught up in his feelings, the way his body seemed to be ten pounds lighter. He felt like dancing, or running a marathon, or maybe taking Blue out for a spin, kicking some Galra-butt... But one thing, a tiny detail, still nagged him.

It was kind of embarrassing. He didn't really know why.

"Hey, uhm..." Lance ran his long finger's through his hair. "So, like, I might be bisexual or something... or not... Or, like, in, did you call it a 'phase'? A bicurious phase?" He closed his hand to a fist, the pull on his hair making it easier to get the words out. "But what if I disappoint?"

The expression on Shiro's face could not be misunderstood. _What are you talking about?_

Feeling very self-conscious, Lance buried his hands deep in the pockets of his green jacket. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, what if I make this big announcement to the world, and it turns out this

'phase' really just was a phase? That I'm just your average straight guy who got a bit carried away for a while? Won't I, I don't know, disappoint the Rainbow Committee? Or offend someone who actually is bisexual and feels like I've made fun of..."

But Shiro didn't hear what his young team member was about to say. Actually, he hadn't heard anything Lance had said after 'Rainbow Committee'. By then, he had snorted loudly and started laughing. One of those laughs that starts all the way down in your belly. He couldn't stop. Not if the universe was at stake. Clutching his stomach, he bowled over, grunting a few times. All good laughs are ugly.

"What the hell, man?" Lance managed to sound offended and crossed his arms.

"Rainbow Committee?" Shiro glanced up at the boy through his tears. "Seriously, that's the best thing I've ever heard. Oh god, I'm going to start using that from now on, 'Rainbow Committee', priceless!"

"I'm serious here!" Lance said forcefully.

Knowing full well he was, Shiro took some deep breaths and kindled his laughter. He stood up and placed a hand on Lance's shoulder, making sure to have his full attention. They were broader than Shiro had first thought. The boy was growing up. "Lance. You don't have to be scared about being open to me, us, anyone. You don't owe anyone anything. It's not about who you like and who you don't like. It's about loving and accepting yourself no matter what." He smiled thoughtfully. "That's why we call it Pride."

The two men gazed at each other for a while, a silent understanding passing between them. Words weren't needed. They had all been said.

"Thanks, man." Lance placed his own hand over Shiro's. He felt it give his shoulder a slight squeeze.

"Anytime."

The door closed with a dull sound after Lance, and Shiro was able to turn back to his work. "He's a good kid," he told the controls. "Good kid."

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 **Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review, it would be much appreciated.**

 **I wrote this because I wanted Lance to have a coming out story that didn't involve Keith and a sudden I-want-you-right-here-right-now experience, as I doubt most people come out this way. They have doubts, they talk with friends. Also, I wrote a lot of myself into this. Just like Lance here, I realized only days ago, that "bicurious" was actually a thing, and I felt very connected to it. For some time now, I've been looking at girls differently too, and while I still consider myself straight, I won't say that there is no possibility whatsoever I could end up kissing a girl a two in my life time. And it was nice to discover that I was not alone in this feeling. Me and Lance are gonna do fiiine.**


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